Every New Comic’s First Set at an Open Mic
This is my first time trying stand-up.
If it’s anything like my first time having sex, it will be awkward.
So I masturbate a lot…
Every New Comic’s Second Set at an Open Mic
This is my second time doing stand-up.
[HOLDS FOR APPLAUSE BREAK. IT DOESN’T HAPPEN]
My first time was a lot like having sex. It was awkward and I cried. Hopefully this time goes better.
So I have a girlfriend. It’s so hard to masturbate with her always around!